Dear Venture Miner

Just another in a long line of AFK Ventures mining in Low Sec. Nothing special. Except for Stay Frosty pilot Este DeStirr's response and his kind letter to the 3-day old newbie, reprinted here with permission.

Tiber,

Greetings from Stay Frosty, a pirate corporation headquartered in nearby Hevrice, land of Golden Asteroids. Hevrice, Muetralle, and neighboring lands are in what is called Low Sec, or Low Security Space, and are the domain of brigands, pirates, factional warfare patriots, and miners who have learned to apply some wits. In Hi-Sec, where you started out and outfitted your fetching Venture mining frigate, CONCORD will come to your aid (and at least avenge you) if miscreants, gankers or ne’er-do-wells attempt to harm you.

No such aid awaits in Lo-Sec, and if I had not wandered by to marvel that you were mining in Lo-Sec while AFK, someone else would have.

Do not despair, intrepid miner! Heady days of extracting millions of ISK worth of…. well, whatever from space rocks lay ahead of you, if you can remember certain keys to not dying to folks like me:

- Stay in Hi-Sec (system security level 0.5 or above) until you learn to use the Directional Scanner and where all the buttons are on your pod.
- Your Venture is a snazzy little pain in the pirate posterior due to coming equipped from the factory with not one, but two extra warp core stabilizers, which means that you can easily escape all but the most determined pirate simply by pointing to a nearby station, gate, or sun and pressing “WARP TO”, leaving the pirate to curse Outer Ring Excavations engineers. Practice this before setting up in an asteroid belt.

Please understand that this was not personal, it’s like hitting a pirate’s knee with a hammer. We see a venture, we have to try and kill it. Nasty little buggers.

As a token of my appreciation that you’re new to New Eden’s darker corners and this was likely a very confusing experience, allow me to reimburse you for your ship and trouble.

A couple more notes:

- You don’t need the cargo hold expander on a venture. It has a ludicrously large ore hold that the expander won’t affect.
- The webifier is useless to you - train some shield skills and fit a basic invulnerability field along with your shield booster.
- Fit a damage control in the lows - it’s the best and easiest way to survive long enough to get into warp.

Best, 

Este “Not Shaken” DeStirr

Closed for the Holidays

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As usual I leave you with a gift, another FREE Wallpaper in the Anti-WCS Series from the WCS Society of New Eden. This one tugs at the heart strings and is the perfect companion for your desktop this Holiday Season. Enjoy.

I may have gotten horribly sick, had the worst pain in my life (Kidney Stone you are pure evil!), and am scrapping the bottom of the barrel to provide a decent Christmas for my family, but this past week has been one of the best I've ever had in Eve. Nothing special, other than hanging out with my fellow Stay Frosty pilots and blowing up stuff real good. I've had a blast. Or two. Or a hundred, I dunno, I lost count.

It is a constant reminder of why I started another Corporation in the first place. Beyond the desire to prove I could really do it, beyond the momentary passion, beyond the in-game reasons to provide a playground for a specific playstyle, it really boils down to collecting like-minded individuals, stirring them around and watching what happens next. It is a rather breathtaking and constantly changing dynamic. You can't help but become involved, both in-game and out, in the lives of those around you. Their challenges, moves, marriages, children, colleges, and their desire to learn this crazy ass game of ours.

It is a privilege.

And so we come to the Christmas break. I'll be taking a few days off from the blog to spend with my family both in-game and out. I'll be back shortly to do the usual year-end reviews and looks forward to next year, but in the meantime, I want to wish each of you the very best this Holiday Season. Whatever your own situation, your own challenges, your own lives, I sincerely hope that you find a moment of peace. A moment, no matter how brief, that allows you clarity and the solace you need. That we all need.

If Eve is indeed a community. If we are more than simply a collection of far-flung people inhabiting a virtual world, if we are more than that, then I send along my personal thanks for making it so. 

Thank you for another great year. And from my family to yours, Happy Holidays.

She'll Understand

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Change, Before it Changes You

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Second in the series from the WCS Society. We are a group of concerned citizens of New Eden dedicated to the eradication of WCS and the harm they do. It is scientific and we have proof that the use of WCS causes cancer, kitten deaths, erectile dysfunction and long-term senility in those exposed to its rays.

You haven't heard the last of us! We will never give up, we will never surrender, we have a point and we intend to use it!!

The WCS Society FREE Wallpaper

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[EDIT] I really shouldn't go so fast in the mornings, the wallpaper had a typo on it which has been fixed.

In honor of those that wish I would "just get over it" I've decided to go full-steam anti-WCS with a new series of wallpaper ads in the spirit of the World Wildlife Fund. This is the first and I hope you download and share and enjoy!!

But seriously, WCS are just the worst. Using them kills kittens, steals your honor and causes global warming. Not to mention what it does to your ability to sustain an erection. ( I hate to mention that one, but really, you should know the truth.)

Happy Holidays.

Dear Santa, It's me Rixx

Dear Santa,

Best wishes from the Javix family to your family this Holiday Season. Now that the Northern Blue Block is gone, I hope you will have better luck delivering presents in Low Sec this year! I can assure you that the scum-sucking criminal elements have set you and your sleigh light blue once more, so relatively safe passage is assured. An updated list of known gate camps is attached, not much we can do with those people.

In case you are not aware, certain pagan elements have been distributing gifts ahead of Xmas day. But don't worry, so far these "gifts" have been extremely lame and horrible. In fact, I suspect they are specifically designed to annoy me and cause me personal anguish, but I digress. Just thought you should be aware that other forces are trying to scam your rightful Holiday. Speaking of scams, I once more recommend putting Jita on your avoidance list.

Yet another year of apologies for the continuing issues with the doors in our quarters, the Javix family remains unable to walk the corridors of the station. However, this year we've installed a series of beautiful staircases connecting our quarters, so getting around is extremely easy. The boys continue to grow extremely slowly and remain young and bright-eyed toddlers. Mrs. Javix and I remain convinced we exist in a strange time-metaphor known as "Sitcom" time. Very strange.

Everyone has been excellent this year and I think you will find us all on the "good" list. I've also included 3b ISK for the Reindeer Fund as usual, to ensure that we remain in your good graces.

All of us will be sending you our own Xmas Lists, so the following is my personal wish list for this Holiday season. I hope you and the Sansha Elves can see your way clear to provide each of these. I was disappointed in some of last years gifts.

• Warp Core Stabs - We talked about this before and sadly they remain in operation. What I need is a Big Red Button that will disable ALL WCS in New Eden. That seems pretty clear. Make it happen.

• Magic Sansha Elf Dust - Be sure to liberally sprinkle that stuff on all the ships in my hanger! I need all the help I can get and I suspect you forgot last year.

• Pirate Faction Battleships - One or two of each would be great, I have some seriously minded people after me and I need a better fleet of ships to combat them. Believe me, they are forces of Evil and need to be dealt with. And, I just want more of them.

• Archon. Simple enough.

• Loot Fairy. Do you have any pull with her? If so, could you do me a big solid and have some words with her on behalf of Stay Frosty? She is being really bitchy with us lately.

• Stay Frosty - Be extra nice to all our pilots this year, they are a great group and they deserve the very best. And be sure to distribute those Stay Frosty flyers I gave you in everyone's stockings, we can always use more pilots.

• A Guristas 120" LCD Television with New Eden Cable please, we'd really like to be able to watch actual television in our quarters!

I've included an updated list of Runners and Cloakers that need to have coal in their stockings this year, so be sure to pay that list particular attention.

That's about it I guess. Special unexpected ships appearing in my hanger are always appreciated and we'll leave the cookies, milk and exotic dancers in the usual place for you to enjoy. The girls know how hard you work.

Best Wishes from the Javix Family.

The Stay Frosty Workout Center

The 5,000-square-foot Stay Frosty fitness center is fully equipped with state-of-the art cardio and weight training equipment. Upon request, your concierge will arrange an expert trainer to ensure an effective workout.

Workout Center
From: Roc Wieler
To: Stay Frosty. [ST-FR]

Morning ladies,

Just a quick note that the squat rack has a bent bar again so is temporarily out of service. It also seems station maintenance is having some issues with the plumbing as the hot water is actually quite freezing ... or I'm incredibly small which some of you know is not the case.

Just a quick FYI for anyone looking to do squats today.

PS. If you happen to see any hydrolized beef protein at any Star Fit Health Foods please pick it up and I'll reimburse you.

Fly strong. Stay frosty. o7

Roc



Re: Workout Center
From: Rixx Javix
To: Stay Frosty. [ST-FR], Roc Wieler

Could the person who keeps leaving their wet towels strewn all over the benches please stop doing that.
Next time I see that you're getting a criminal timer from me Mister!

Da Boss

Re: Re: Workout Center

From: astral dominix

To: Stay Frosty. [ST-FR], Roc Wieler, Rixx Javix

ok ....the soiled wet towels were me...and those four exotic dancers....sorry boss :(

Re: Re: Re: Re: Workout Center

From: Razesdarked

To: Stay Frosty. [ST-FR]

Ok, so before going to the Stay Frosty Officially sanctioned Workout Center last friday I finally got my The Effort Ninja Gorrilian DVD boxset. Somewhere between me arriving, me doing all the pushups and me going home, someone nicked my boxset.

I ain't mad, I understand.

It's a damn awesome boxset, with a awesome 1:25 Evil Overlord Figurine striking a madly awesome pose. I would have my cleptomanic fingers all over it myself. But it just ain't right.

So please, Its only 6 discs, so please return it by the weekend. Its not like you will be able to stop chain watching them episodes anyway. The end of the Rampaging rhino arc where ninja gorilla san punches the rhino stampede so hard the earth cracks is just mindboggling awesome.

Anyways, you should be done by Friday. This weekend I have no date, a bottle of cola and an all The Effort Ninja Gorrilian DVD evening planned. You don't need to be a rocket scientist to see what is missing in that plan.

Should the culprit not turn up by friday, then I will probably start popping some caps peoples bitch ass until I start seeing some damn results! I will also refrain from wearing anything below waist height while utilizing the Workout center from now on, and I am sure that will be as traumatic for you as it will be for me. No one wants that so give me my discs so I'm not forced to buy it on Blue ray.



Re: Re: Re: Workout Center
From: Nero Tomas
To: Stay Frosty. [ST-FR], Roc Wieler, Rixx Javix, astral dominix


to: all who signed up for the 20:00 EST full contact origami seminar, it has been rescheduled to next thursday.

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Workout Center

From: Jushin Dragon

To: Stay Frosty. [ST-FR]

What freaking workout center I'm still locked in my captian quaters. Though I have yet to determine if its a good or bad thing having Anastasia's quaters next to mine. There are some very odd noises coming from next door....

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Workout Center

From: SKINE DMZ

To: Stay Frosty. [ST-FR]

I AM SO CONFUSED

Re: Re: Re: Workout Center

From: Rixx Javix

To: Stay Frosty. [ST-FR], Nero Tomas, Roc Wieler, astral dominix

Gosh darn it, we can't get anything together in this damn corp!

I'm going to my sea salt yoga class then!

RJ

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Workout Center
From: Roc Wieler
To: Stay Frosty. [ST-FR], Razesdarked

Looks like they've fixed the squat bar. Good times.

Raze, sorry about grabbing your box set. I saw it and was amused so wanted to check it out then disappeared on recon for a few days.

Also, I apologize about the noises from Anastasia's CQ - we'll try to keep it down.

Never tried full contact origami, but it has two things I absolutely adore in it, so I'm game!

Yep, that is an actual Corp Mail thread. Stay Frosty is nothing if not serious business.

5 Randomly Weird Things About Eve Online

I'm totally making this up as I go, so bear with me while I pull today's post out of my super-genius nether region for your nominal entertainment. The preceding statement being only half-true, I am in fact drawing on years of Eve experience to pull spontaneous brilliance out of my nether region. Just like every day.

So here are five totally randomly selected ways in which I find Eve Online to be totally weird. Tongue firmly in-cheek, humor intended stuff here. Not serious.

1. Criminal Timers

I'm in a low security system alone with some schmuck in another ship. It is just me and that other guy I like to call "Target Ted". Target Ted is ratting in a belt ( I know that is a Myth, but let's use it for the purpose of the story, k?) in a Rifter. And I, being notoriously ebil, am in another ship capable of killing his Rifter dead. I warp into the belt, having used my superior d-scan abilities to track Ted's ass down, and start shooting at Ted. Just cause.

But Ted ain't as dumb as he looks and warps away, cause Ted fit WCS to his Rifter despite me repeatedly telling people not to do that! I imagine Ted's comms must have gone something like this, "Uh Station Control? Uh yeah, this is Target Ted over in Belt Six. Yeah, look, this Rixx Javix fella is shooting his guns at me!! No I'm fine, I gots 4 WCS fitted!! Yes, yes I know they kill kittens and I don't care. Look, I warped out, but could you do something about this menace? What?!? Thirty seconds?! That's all?"

Oh gosh. I can't dock for thirty seconds. More time to study for Amarr BS V I guess.


2. Situational Awareness

What a mess! Seriously, think about it for more than a second. Local shows every dood in the system you are in instantly, and yet shares none of that information with YOU. Imagine this in Real Life for a second, you've got this app on your phone that shows you a picture of everyone within a 30 mile radius of you, and yet tells you nothing about where they might be. They could be right behind you, right now!! Unless they happen to walk into range... then they show up. No one signs up for this app btw, it shows you even if you don't want it to.

In order to find your neighbors you need the Eve version of a Dowsing Rod. Twirl around in your ship for a bit until the wooden stick tingles, the guy you are looking for is over that way somewhere. Y'know, in general. How far is he? Which of those clusters of icons is he in? Hehe, go look for yourself ya schmuck.

I actually love this part of Eve and I don't have a brilliant way to make it better, but it is rather silly when you think about it. We can build Jump Drives and Civilian Autocannons, but we can't do better than this on the single most important element in all of Eve? Uh huh. Don't even get me started on Local Chat... imagine that app?


3. Those Ships Flying By Your Hanger?

If you spin your ship in the right direction while in station these days you are bound to spot the busy traffic passing by your huge hanger. And while the Stations in Eve are obviously built using TARDIS Technology, even that doesn't explain these creepy Ghost Ships. You are the only one in local and yet there they go, back and forth, like busy little bees. Who the f**k are these people!?!

I know for a fact they are not undocking. I've been outside a lonely station and no one is coming out of it. So they must be up to something else and I, luckily for you, have a theory. That part of the station is a huge circle and those ships are part of the HUGE Pilot Training Certification Program (PTCP). Yep, those ships can't undock, cause they are going around in circles learning the best ways to not bump into each other, or crash into the sides of the station causing untold billions in property damage expelling air into space and causing the deaths of thousands of innocent people. Cause those kinds of skills are so important out in space... >cough<

It gets boring in Station. The doors don't work and the only recreation people have is to take the family Dominix out for a spin around the Center Circle. "Let's go watch Timmy pass the window again!!"


4. Without Pants

I've got news for you that you might not like much, you and everyone else in Eve is flying around Nekkid. Yep, we are in our ships of terror, zipping around the universe in our birthday suits. This fact alone must make public speaking in New Eden extremely easy.

So at some point between the balcony and the pod, all of us take off all our clothes and step into the Capsule for the ride up to the ship... Nekkid. For everyone in station to get a good look at our naughty bits.

I'm not sure why we have to fly our ships naked, or what effect that has on the crew... if there is a crew! (Ooooooo, but that's another post.) There is an alternate theory out there that the pod destruction destroys clothing, but I don't buy it. How would it do that in exactly the same fashion every time? Doesn't make logical sense, and as you know, everything I write needs to meet that criteria.

This might have something to do with those circling ships...


5. Being a Zombie

I've died 80 times in Eve so far. Dead. Kaput. Pushing up daisies. Flinging myself from this mortal coil and dashing headlong into the aft... only to be brought back once more into this hell hole existence where everyone wants to keel me. And this doesn't even begin to mention the thousands and thousands of times I've been disassembled and flung hither and thou from one end of the Universe to the other every time I "jump" thru a gate or a cyno thingie.

Maybe this is why I became a Pirate? The lack of a soul, since it went and joined the heavenly choir about six years ago. Don't believe in souls? Well then you are a Zombie Eve Pilot. Walking around all dead inside, reborn into a new body, with hatches on your head where they stick those expensive implants and "inject" skills into your brain. (Why learn a skill that only involves pushing a button? Off topic.)

Oh yes, Eve is weirder than you probably realized. And those five things are just scratching the surface really. I could go on and on.

But I do have to save some things for later. Plus, I really want to go get nekkid and run around dying all over the place. There are 80 Rixx corpses just floating around in space somewhere. Next time you hear a thud when flying around, that might be me!

The Mighty Venture Eve Mini-Game

I have a special love/hate relationship with the lowly Venture. On the one hand I think it is an awesome model, one of my favorite new ship models in the game. It reminds me of an underwater vehicle you might have seen in the Abyss, designed by famed production designer Rob Cobb. On the other hand it is a Mining Frigate with WCS abilities built right into it!! Which makes it like salt in the wound of your friendly neighborhood pirate.

No matter what ship I am flying at the moment the words "Venture on scan" are uttered or seen on scan, I will warp into the belt intent on killing it. Since they were introduced back in December 2012, I have destroyed 98 Ventures and podded 67% of their pilots. Yes, I counted them this morning.

I don't hunt Ventures. They are not typically considered "good fights", although I have run into a few Battle Ventures over the last year. Although they also exploded. If I've destroyed 98 that must mean I've tried to destroy hundreds and hundreds of the darn things, since most of the time they get away.

I've destroyed Ventures in just about any ship you can imagine:

With a Daredevil, Incursus, Wolf, Caracal, Tristan, Merlin, Rokh, Astero, Stabber Fleet Issue, Broadsword, Comet, Hawk, and Coercer, just in the last two months!

It is like a bizarre mini-game within Eve. And yes, most of these pilots are young. And no, these are in no way good fights. I will say this however, most of these ships also had the option of simply warping away. I rarely fit two scrams to a ship. In some cases, like the Rokh, I could have made a sandwich in the time it took to lock the Venture.

Why bring this up? I don't really know, I find it interesting and an aspect of the game that is rather odd and amusing. I destroyed two of them yesterday and I was curious about the numbers.

The funny thing is, I have two Ventures fitted up to kill Ventures and I've yet to register a kill with either one. Thing is, every time I undock in one... well, it is a mining Frigate isn't it? And there is always the chance someone like me will come along and insta-pop me with a Artie Wolf.

And that thought usually results in me docking up and grabbing something a little more appropriate.

But not always. Someday the Venture will have its blood.

Rubicon Predictions

Tomorrow we cross the Rubicon. We shall all forfeit our Imperium and face death and dishonor. Gulp.

Ok, maybe not. But the relation to "crossing something" is deliberate and CCP would like us to think we are on a journey of no return with this latest expansion. If everything holds up the way it seems, I suspect they might actually be right this time. Maybe. So here are some last minute predictions about what you can expect from getting your ankles wet crossing the line of death and entering Rome.

My Crystal Ball of Expansion Predictions

• Everyone hops into an Interceptor and goes Ludicrous Speed!! They have fun for about 39 jumps before they try to tackle someone and realize that the main fleet is 37 jumps behind them! Suddenly all of New Eden realizes something that Hero Tackle pilots have known for years, arriving 30 seconds BEFORE help is a sure way to die horribly.

Kick the tires and light the fires. Speed is great, but generally speaking it just means you die a lot faster. But not in bubbles after tomorrow! This might be the greatest single change ever for Eve PvP, but remember to hurtle with caution.

I fully suspect some seriously hilarious deaths from this change in the coming days.


• Carpel Tunnel Syndrom Increases! One result of the speed change is the increase in the amount of spamming you will be doing to your d-scan button. Orbit that button carefully, cause that new dood in local is now ON YOUR FACE! Click. Click. OH MY GOD!!

Should be fun.


• Overview Clutter! Suddenly all of these idiot players have structures they can put up in space! And who thought this was a good idea? I imagine my overview is going to be full in a week or so of Siphons and Bunkers and other things. Ahhh!

So overview management... again! Sheesh. And what are we going to call these things in gang? Everyone warp to that Depot, y'know the 16th one from the bottom. Can we name Depots?


• White Ships Ahoy! Look for some hilarious kms from the new SOE Ships. If this is anything like the Gnosis it should be a fun week as people buy them and fit them without a clue.


• I'm not even gonna touch the hilarity that hi-sec Custom Offices are going to cause. I don't understand hi-sec and this isn't going to help me in that regard anytime soon. Have fun with that.


One last prediction. Rubicon will go down in history as one of the best expansions, certainly top five, in Eve. It is FREE and it should be awesome. Lots of ground-work being laid for the next two or three expansions, and content that seems naturally expandable for once.

I'm looking forward to it. You should be also.

Any predictions of your own?

The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

A never ending series of good fights, horrible losses and my continuing stupidity in the face of the world's most amazingly frustrating and rewarding game experience, Eve Online.

Here then are some of the highlights and lowlights from the past week or so.


The Good: Falcon Dies
So there is this Moa about and we quickly grab some ships to see if we can catch it. Nothing fancy mind you. We do grab it, when suddenly The Falcon de-cloaks next to us! Yeah I lost a Caracal, but both the Moa and the Falcon die. And that was worth it. I'll trade a ship for an ECM dishonor boat any day.


The Good: Decisions
Killing a Corax with a Tristan isn't the greatest thing since sliced bread, but as is often the case, it is the story that makes the story. I had just lost a really bad fight and jumped into the Tristan when I spotted this Corax. The system was loaded with nasty things, so obviously there were some gangs about. I never hesitate, but I did this time because it sure looked like a bait situation, no one else was bothering the Corax. Finally I decided to go for it anyway and sometimes that works out.


The Bad: 600m Pod
One thing I have learned over the past six months is that my former corp mates are more than willing to stoop ever lower and lower in order to kill me. On their kill-board they proudly predicted an angry blog post about this loss, which sadly means they haven't learned a damn thing about me during the last six months. I'm not angry about this, I don't actually get mad, but this was totally my own fault for not paying attention. They have to live with their own actions.


The Ugly: Linked Cormmies
Who knew that even the vaunted Vengeance is no match for five Tengu linked Cormorants? Ok, I did. But this fight didn't start out with five and the Tengu only appeared on scan at the last minute. They got my pod too, they must be so proud.


The Good: A Coercer
I have never really flown the Coercer much, so I decided to fit two of them up and go see what it could do. It is a fun ship to fly and puts out some impressive deeps, but is extremely prone to dying. But I did manage to get some good kills with it.


The Ugly: Moar ECM
I'm a system over when my Corp mate tells me he is going for a Harpy in a plex. Suddenly he is jammed by the suddenly appearing Griffin. Big surprise huh? I haul ass next door and save him by taking the Griffin down quickly. The ugly part of this story is that this happened again later that same day with a different group and this time they brought a Falcon. He got away again, but when I brought out my Rook, they ran away.


The Bad: Fish with Teeth
Sometimes when a fish runs from you it isn't because he doesn't have teeth, so going back to get the dual scram Atron is not a good idea. This happens so rarely that it isn't worth considering, but it does happen. So be warned.


The Good: And Equal
And then sometimes everything works out perfectly and you find the perfect ship to fight in the ship you actually happen to be in and you have a really good fight on your hands. Thank god this still happens from time to time.


Those are just some of the more memorable fights from the past week or so. What will happen next? Stay tuned.